God is so good. One day you can be sitting in church, completely satisfied with your life, your family, your marriage. You have the perfect number of kids, your feeling like life is truly complete, and then woosh. The Holy Spirit falls on you afresh, and everything turns upside down! Oh Beautiful Moment.
For Jason and I there had always been a heart for adoption in our lives. We understood the importance of taking care of God's children, how every child deserves the love of a family, and the chance to grow up in a Christ centered home. But, it was always something we believed God had for others. We were too strapped to even consider it anyway.
On December 15, 2008, Jason and I paid off our last consumer debt bill, and were, except for the mortgage, debt free. It was as if God was sitting on His throne, just waiting for us to be free of the bondage, tapping His fingers in anticipation, because from the moment we did that, we've been on a roller coaster of adventure!
As I look back over the last several months, I can now see the quickening in my Spirit whenever I saw little black children out and about. Stories of African refugees and orphanages began filling up my path. A visiting orphanage director at my Grandmother's Retirement Home, a program on tv, an email, a happened upon blog or two. . . And the funny thing was, whenever I mentioned these things to Jason he didn't freak out or shoot down the discussions, knowing full well where they were leading. . .
While I was down with a broken ankle in January a friend called and asked me to design a blog for her upcoming trip to Ghana. I looked through the pictures, prayed over the project, watched the video links, and felt a true passion to helping in any way I could. Then, on January 31, 2009 I sat in church, holding my adopted niece Adiah, and listening to a life changing sermon on the Holy Spirit Baptism, and my heart was beginning to call out for another child, or two. The Holy Spirit woke Jason up in the middle of the night and instructed him to go back and listen to the sermon as well (he had been on a date with our daughter Sat night) and so the next morning we went back to church to listen to the service again, and that's when I knew. I heard God call me Ghana, during a discussion of the Holy Spirit baptism of Abram and Sarai where God added His breath, the letter h, to their lives. For Sarai he removed the I, for Abram, duplicated the A, and for my name it went from Gina to Ghana. At first I took this as an instruction to go to Ghana to adopt, but after a lot of research and prayer, realized God was just opening my Spirit up to the idea of an African Adoption through that moment, and felt His call to Ethiopia.
A couple of days later I was having lunch with my sister in law and we were ready to leave the restaurant, when I just knew I was supposed to ask her, "So when are you adopting again?" She instantly began crying, shocked that I would ask, but the Holy Spirit had already told me beforehand we would do this together, but I was convinced she would never go through it again after the tiring transition she had experienced with Adiah and the move to Midlothian. (Both wonderful, amazing blessings, yet life changing nonetheless!)
As we talked about God's confirmations, and the doubts and fears we had both taken to Him on the subject, a strange peace just feel completely on me. I got in my car and I just begun telling Him I didn't know when was the right time, I knew He wanted me to impact the world through this, but I was concerned about our income, our small cars, our small house. . . and I just kept asking for a sign to know it was time to move. I turned on the radio, which I NEVER have on in the car, I'm a quiet freak when I'm alone, and the song was,
What Are You Waiting For
by Natalie Grant.
Sometimes I get that overwhelming feeling
So sad those faces on tv
If I tried to make a difference would it help anyway
But then I stop and to myself I say
So you wanna change the world
What are you waiting for
You say you're gonna start right now
What are you waiting for
It only takes once voice
So come on now and shout it out
Give a little more
What are you waiting for
Sometimes I feel a little helpless
Seems like I can't do a thing
But anything is possible just you wait and see
Good things happen if you just believe
Gonna take that step
Cause time is ticking away
Right here right now
Before it's too late
Gonna face tomorrow today
I called Jason at work and let him know I would be looking into adoptions on the Internet when I got home, and he got excited with me. When I got home, Amy had already sent me several with information about Ghana and other African Nations.
But, Jason and I were nervous, this is a big deal to trust God to provide financially for the adoption, two cars, and a bigger house. We were still praying earnestly for an answer on Sunday morning. Every time I would try and open my mouth to sing during worship, the Holy Spirit would say, "Quiet!" and I would have to stop and I just stood there weeping and watching the most beautiful picture of Christ lifting me up toward heaven. It was a beautiful scene, a gift from my Father of confirmation that He would provide, lift, educate, and deliver. When the prayer call came at the close of the service, the side door opened and Arnita Taylor walked in the sanctuary to join the alter ministry team. It was my final confirmation. Arnita is one of those women I love dearly. I've been bible study sisters with her since I was pregnant with Nathan and I hadn't seen her in almost three years, we were both at a different church back then, and running into people at a church as large as ours isn't common. She's a beautiful African American woman, and I knew she was there to answer some of the questions I had about being capable of having a bi-racial family. It was a perfect God appointment.
The next morning Jason called me when I woke up and asked me when I was going to apply, and I got on the computer and did it. The entire time I kept arguing with God about finances, almost daring Him that He was going to have to come through, and I was now EXPECTING it with urgency. The next morning on Tuesday, Jason got a call from a prospective employer offering him a new position with an increase in salary this year equal to the cost of the adoption! Praise the LORD!
Just had a God moment while typing these memories out. . . went back to look up the words of Natalie Grant's song on the Internet to paste in here, and read the words for the first time! I didn't know it was even about a response to seeing faces on tv! I came in on it that day after the first couple of lines! How cool is that! What a GOD thing!